Hey Bill! Why Don't You Subpoena Their Dog?

Partisan quack Bill Frist, in a fit of Republican desperation, has issued a subpoena ordering a vegetable to testify before Congress.

More evidence that these people, rather than advocating smaller government, are most interested in interfering in the most private moments of your life. This is hideous micromanagement at its most base, and it's an obvious bid to entrap Michael Schiavo into an obstruction of justice rap.

Forget his senate credentials -- just how does Bill Frist get off calling himself a Doctor of Medicine?

I fully expect that Frist will next call upon the family dog to testify before Congress, and if the animal doesn't find a way to speak somehow, that he'll subject that poor animal to the sort of experimentation which would be barred by the Geneva Conventions if performed upon human subjects.

Oh wait, maybe they'll just hold Rover Schiavo as an enemy combatant.

These are the actual values that these proto-Maoist jerkoffs hold? Horrible. Unspeakable. Craven. I can't describe how disgusted I am, especially since that helmet-headed talking anus is my supposed representative.